Wedding Day Disasters

Weddings, eh? Your wedding day is a special occasion, so you’ll want it to be perfect. It won’t be. Things will go wrong — they may even go horribly wrong. The trick is accept that now and remember that the marriage is more important than the wedding. Besides, no matter what disaster befalls — from missing wedding rings to inebriated guests — it’s unlikely that half the guests will be murdered to the strains of The Rains of Castamere’. Well, probably not — Game of Thrones is very popular, after all.

As they say, into every life a little rain must fall. Here’s a round-up of some funny, and some tragic, wedding day disasters.

Mmm… cake…

A guy I know went to a wedding and got drunk and ate the inside of the wedding cake. He was a chef so I guess he figured out a way to (with the help of someone else) tilt the cake and eat the majority of the inside so the only thing that remained was the hard fondant shell. When the bride and groom went to cut the cake there was hardly any cake inside left.

Beware the fire of love

I caught on fire at my own wedding. We were walking the tables greeting our guests and my dress grazed a candle. One of the groomsmen was walking by and screamed, ‘You’re on fire!’ So my groom, a few guests, and the observant groomsman were all slapping at the back of my dress to put me out. They did and my sister whipped out the garment tape and rearranged the back of my skirt so none of the melted black tulle was visible and we kept partying!

Husband was reading cue cards for his speech. When finished with each one, he tossed them aside on the table where they promptly landed on a fairy light candle and went up in flames!

The intrusive cameraman overturned a glass encased candle on the altar which caused the bride’s gown to quickly catch fire. The cameraman, in slapping the fire out with his hands, bloodied them and her gown.

Weddings and funerals

Brides father dropped dead during the ceremony. That was pretty horrible…. He had a freak heart attack on the spot and dropped dead at 57. People at first thought it was a joke, but quickly realized it wasn’t. The bride was (understandably) inconsolable and the groom was shocked but did his best trying to comfort her.

Stomach trouble

On the night before our wedding, my husband-to-be, our teenage daughter and bridesmaid, and my maid of honor came down with a very nasty stomach bug which kept them up all night vomiting and running to the toilet. I managed to grab a bunch of flowers from the garden as we left for the registry office, where my partner gritted his teeth throughout the proceedings, desperately trying not to evacuate his bowels as my three-year-old toddler clung to me in terror.

I was the maid of honor at my sister’s wedding and up at the altar when I felt my stomach gurgle. I really tried to hold it in, but I farted. It was not silent. Since I was standing near the mic, everyone got treated to the sound of my fart. The smell was so bad they had to open the windows.

Gone fishing…

I was at a wedding where the officiant did not show up. It was a Friday evening; he forgot and went fishing instead. We all went to the reception without the marriage actually happening. After dinner, someone found a judge to do the ceremony, so the whole wedding party walked down the street to a nearby outdoor gazebo and the bride and groom got married, then walked back and continued the reception.

Accidents happen

Our wedding day was brilliant but the most memorable moment came as my husband and I drove away from the church in a classic Merc convertible we’d borrowed. It had been done up in traditional fashion with tin cans, etc. As I threw the money for the “scramble”, hubby inadvertently ran over the foot of some kid (not a wedding guest), breaking his toe!

I got married in Scotland, so of course we had a traditional ceilidh (Scottish country dancing). My new husband and I were dancing in the Eightsome Reel when disaster struck. My beloved – who, I should probably point out, is in fact English and therefore perhaps not to be trusted at a ceilidh – took my hands to propel me into a vigorous twirl. Sadly, he managed to connect his elbow sharply into my nose. My nose basically exploded. Blood flew across the dance floor and ran down the front of my wedding dress. I legged it into the nearest toilet, spraying blood as I went as guests looked on in horror. It took two hours for my nose to stop bleeding…. By the time I had ceased to hemorrhage, most of our guests had left.

Weddings vs World Cup

Topical story — one of my Dublin cousins got married in the summer of 1990. It was a world cup year, and Ireland had not only qualified, but made it to the quarter finals, on the day of her wedding. She is not a football fan. The whole country went mad, with flags everywhere, and there was a nasty moment before the ceremony when the bride, saw that my father (who had done the flowers) was found to have secreted several green-white-and-yellow flowers in her otherwise blue bouquet. The service went reasonably well, but the reception was dominated by a huge TV screen showing the match. Ireland lost to Italy, and the rest of the evening was a bit gloomy, with the poor bride wandering around with her train over her arm, muttering “I might as well not be here”.

That poor woman…

Recently attended a wedding this past September. Bride and groom have been together for 11 years, high school sweethearts, could not possibly be more excited to marry each other. Ceremony went great, quick, emotional, everyone cried…. The bridal party were taking pictures when my boyfriend (who was in the wedding) asked if I could bring him out a drink. As soon as I got out there all the groomsmen were standing around while the bridesmaids and groom were flocked in a circle around the bride. She was sick to the point where she couldn’t stand and had to be helped into the reception. This came out of NOWHERE. So they came in a did their first dance, danced with their parents, served dinner, and made an announcement that they were going to the hospital.
They missed their entire reception. The wedding continued on well into the night (because that’s what they wanted) and as we were getting ready to leave we ran into them coming back to the hotel. Turns out it was a kidney stone.